Many men have loved me
But none enough to stay
I’ve traced mountainsides
With my fingertips
Across the ironed-out
landscapes of flesh
Curving against muscle
And bone
I’ve learned to open
This heart wide
Like an eager lotus
Floating atop the waters
Calm, without hesitation
Waiting to meet the sun
And my love is met consistently
With resistance
And trepidation
Like pushing a door open
With all of the weight
Of my small frame
Against hurricane-strength winds
And even still
I leap
I pull together the pieces
Of other broken hearts
Into my embrace
Pouring gold into the cracks
Mending them into wholeness
With my own
More valuable than before
My heart has been broken
A million times over
And yet
Each time
I love
I live
I learn
A little more fearlessly
Than before
Because the joy I’ve found
In offering light
Into the darkness for others
Is far more freeing
Than the fear
And this is the path,
I’ve realized,
To healing my own
Once-wounded soul
Because, my dear,
What use would there be
In restoring wings
To those you won’t allow to fly?